Bioshock Memories

A trip to the Powerhouse Museum's Love Lace exhibit brought back memories of Bioshock, specifically the music:



Kinda creepy.

Music Blog, Part 3: Martyrdom & Love

This is a post that (like the next-to-previous) has been in my head for days, but thanks to my putting on Coupling late last evening, I have a way of introducing it:

I watched this bit with Tanja, who then turned to me and said "Do men actually think that way during sex?" and the answer was, without hesitation: "Absolutely."

Insecurity. It destroys me.

So anyway, the post I wanted to write was about a White Stripes song. It's off their Icky Thump Album from 2007.

Here:

(lyrics are here)

The narrator begins by mentioning a girl he saw exiting the zoo with a bunch of her friends. "16 and six feet tall", as he describes her. She trips over her high heels, and he catches her, saying that "Maybe these ruby shoes are a little cumbersome for you." Nice. It was off the cuff, but it impresses her. He admits himself that he was shaking and nervous and that he blurted this answer out without thinking, just "talkin' junk". But this impromptu conversation gets him her number, and he calls her a few times, but each time he's less cool, less interesting, has less to say. "My dumb-luck-fake-confidence was getting weak" he laments. So at the end of the 2nd or 3rd call, he breaks up with her, saying that there can't be any future for them:

"I could stay a while/but sooner or later I'll break your smile

And I can tell a joke/but one of these days I'm bound to choke

And we could share a kiss/but I feel like I can't go through with this

And I bet we could build a home/but I know the right thing for me to do

Is to leave you alone"

My original thought was that this was douche-like, that he's saving her the bad things he might do, but the more I listen to the song, the more I feel I understand. He loves her (or at least, the idea of her), and as such can't bear to disappoint her with the idea that he's not as cool as she might think. He knows he'll fuck it up eventually. He'll say something dumb, and she'll think less of him, and it's all downhill from there. He admits that it looks (and maybe is) cowardly and "a lame way to live" but he's powerless, and he hopes he appreciates the pain he's avoided giving here. That he's "A Martyr For My Love For You".

That bit always threw me, until I thought about how "martyr" can mean someone who chooses to destroy himself so that an idea can continue. In this case, it's the idea of Cool Him and Lovely Girl & Their Super Cool Relationship that he felt he was unable to maintain. This is such a deep and abiding self-doubt and insecurity that my heart goes out to him.For I have been there. But frankly, I was never even cool enough to start the conversation.

**edit**

Allow me to explain a little so my meaning is clear: in my current relationship, I am loved, and confident, and many other good things, despite my occasional (much-discussed on this blog) bouts of insecurity and self-pity. Left to my own devices, I am a lobster in a tank, eating myself until I can barely move. I'm saying I sympathise with the song's narrator. Or rather, I did, at one stage, knowing that situation myself.

And funny enough, while I was writing this, a Kaiser Chiefs song came on:

I can do it, I can do it, I can do it, I can do it without you.

But it wouldn't be very good.

Indeed.

**Second Edit**
In discussing this with Tanja and how it actually wasn't me saying that I "jumped aboard" with the first girl who "gave me the time of day", I remembered another poitn I had wanted to discuss about the song. When I re-evaluated the song, I had an inkling of an idea. Everything from the moment the narrator catches the girl to the end of the song... is in his head. He imagines saying something cool, but then further imagines how hard it would be to keep up that image, to the point where he'd need to exercise control and end the relationship. So this is him justifying and saying that he is right to have said nothing, thus affirming his self-image and framework and saving himself.

Which, as Tanja put it, is really sad.

Music Blog, Part 2: The Songs and Sounds of New Vegas

I was playing Fallout: New Vegas this morning on my laptop. I had my iPhone on the speakers. I got a series of songs that I felt fit the western vibe of the game very well. I present those songs to you here:

The Raconteurs - The Switch & The Spur

Mark Lanagan - The Man In The Long Black Coat

The Dead Weather - So Far From Your Weapon

The Joel Plaskett Emergency - Written All Over Me

Hate Then Love - The Dears

Yeah. The last one doesn't quite match, but the next song that came on was Lady Gaga's "Paparazzi" and that sort of broke the mood.

Anyhow, I'm still really early into New Vegas, but I'm finding it much easier to be a bastard in this barren Western-style world than in the Capitol Wasteland of Fallout 3. Shooting & looting are a higher preference.

Music Blog, Part 1: Locking Down Black Snow Birds

(the first in a 3-part series... that I will complete today. So maybe it shouldn't be cut into 3. But I want to, because the topics are different. like a lot.)

So. Right. This is a blog I had an idea for ages ago on a turbulent train trip to work in which I ended up on the wrong train, and had to jump off the train at North Strathfield and promptly forgot about it. Yes, it was the same day I made a comic about.

The train of thought was inspired by one of many PennPoint episodes where Penn Jillette talked about his feelings after seeing Paul McCartney in concert in Las Vegas. All of these had some interesting things to say, including whether an artist should respect your memory of their previous work (like Paul does) or not (like Bob Dylan), and if Sean Lennon looks frighteningly like his father (he does). The one that got my attention, though, was where Penn discussed "Blackbird", which admittedly is not one of my favourite Beatles songs, and how it's always difficult to describe poetry using prose. To sum up (though I recommend you watch all the videos), he said that people have long posited on the meaning of the lyrics of Blackbird, whether it was a personal story, or whether it was about X or Y or Civil Rights or whatever. Essays have been written (including blogs by The Beatles Complete On Ukelele, which is incredible and you should read/download all of their stuff like I have) trying to contemplate and dissect meanings from this poetry.

Then Paul McCartney came out 34 years after the song had been written and said it was about American Civil Rights.

Right.

As Penn said, him saying what he meant by the song locks down the meaning. It cements the meaning, making all other meanings false, to a given value of false. Well, rather, it makes those other meanings into mere "interpretations" and the stuff of first year university essays (I still say Poe's "The Fall of the House of Usher is a metaphor for brother-sister incest, you bastard professor). Admittedly, you could argue about the myth of the Auteur, and that the creator loses control of the work of art the moment it is released into the public, making all interpretations as real as the next until examined (sort of a Schrodinger's Song).

It's a theory I subscribe to, specifically due to the fact that I seem to be ridiculously easy to influence through music. A sad song can ruin my day. Seriously.

Anyhow, I reflect upon something I read in the liner notes of Barenaked Ladies' Greatest Hits album about the song "What a Good Boy". If you ain't heard it, go here for the video. The writer of the song explained in the notes that the song was "a young man's mediation on gender roles", but he had been sent so many interpretations and meanings for the song that were incredibly beautiful and transcended his original intention that he would prefer to let the song mean "whatever you'd like it to mean."

Sniff.

Oh, right. Snow. That Red Hot Chili Peppers song off of Stadium Arcadium. That day at North Strathfield, after I had watched Penn Point, and jumped off the train, this song came on. Now, I don't know if you know this one. I wouldn't have, had Tanja not gone through her "I must own all of the albums" phase of Chili Pepper liking.

Read the lyrics. They're here. Or watch the video.

My interpretation is that it's Anthony Kiedis having writer's block and relying on drugs to (initially) spark his creativity, despite knowing the dangers they pose, because he needs "more than himself to rely on", and that he enjoys the black-and-white morality of the addict: I need more, therefore I will get more, I am not accountable because it's not really me ("all my tracks/will be concealed").

I don't know if that's what he actually meant by the song, but that's what I think. And that matters, for a given value of matter.

What I Got (continued)

WATCHING Forgot to mention a few more podcasts. Despite my dislike of their myriad of convention shows, iFanboy is still going strong since leaving Revision3. Their shows on Frank Miller and Starman have been my favourites lately. LifeHacker is one I've been trialing, and is nothing but good so far. It's basically tips on how to streamline and nerd up your life and work, such as making a cord-free office, making an emergency lamp out of a tuna can, or a laptop bag out of your hoodie. PennPoint is handy because when I watch it minimised, it's like listening to a radio show hosted by Penn Jillette. One of the few podcasts where video ain't necessary, which is good when your battery is low, or you have Twittering to do.

APP-ING I've been leaning away from iPhone games lately, using my phone much more for media and web-based stuff, though one has grabbed my attention: ShapeShift may look like a Bejewelled clone, and maybe it is, but it's highly addictive. My only gripe is that it's not timed, but turn-based, and you don't get any bombs (the only things that'll stop a game) until at least 8-10 minutes of gameplay. So until that point there is absolutely no challenge. It's also a battery-suck. I've also been playing a bit of Fruit Ninja, since they updated and added Arcade mode, which really changes up the action, adding power-ups and rewarding you for creativity. I've long been a user of Words With Friends, sometimes running as many as 20 games at a time. This has become its downfall, though, as the sheer number of games combined with an instant rematch after each win or loss has rendered the joy of winning obsolete. As it doesn't matter, then my motivation for playing is lost. I've branched out into its cousin, Hangin' With Friends, but it's not grabbing me as much. The random nature of Hangman means you either get the word straight away or you have no idea and flail about getting things wrong. I therefore don't feel accomplished when I get something, I just feel lucky. Social-media-wise, SoundTracking has been my latest download. It's free, and it is to music what Instagram is to photos. You can have to grab what's playing around you (handy in bars or music shops) or grab what's on your iPhone and post it with a comment. The big honking downside? Nobody's using it. At least, no one that I know. That means the service only exists to post songs to Facebook, Twitter, etc. Without the rich community that Instagram has, I don't think it'll stick with me long. Speaking of Instagram, it's become one of my primary ways of interacting with my social networks. You guys think I tweet a lot? My Instagram feed is 2-3 times as full. However, my love of skylines and clouds has gotten me tons of likes from people I don't know, but annoys the crap of people I actually know. So swings and roundabouts. Speaking of Apps, I still can't find a good blogging app for iPhone that'll let me post photos to Blogger the way I normally do, and it shits me.

READING I've been digging through the pile of books I've had since Christmas and cleared a few off my list. I finally took the plunge and read The Gunslinger by Stephen King. Despite high hopes, I did not like it. I found the language too florid and the characters inscrutable, taking actions I did not understand and they did not explain. I was waiting for the actions to make sense, but no one gave any explanation for what they were doing apart from it's "what I must do." Great. Thanks. One I had no preface to was iBoy by Kevin Brooks. It's a kid from the housing projects outside of London who has an iPhone hit his head from a high height and gets superpowers. Yep. Initially it's just an internal processor and all the knowledge of the InterWebz, but then it extends to a personal forcefield, electrical powers, telekenesis and, well, whatever the plot demands from the scene. No upper limit or explanation is given for these powers, and he essentially runs around beating up gang members until the finale, which by that point I did not care about. It was not a good book. The third volume of Transmetropolitan by Warren Ellis, and the series is starting to bug me. It tends to alternate between wonderful, funny and interesting stories, and then perhaps one issue in three will be terrible. It's inconsistant stuff like that that I want to push through to get to the good stuff. Example? A sentient police dog that Spider castrated during a riot seeks revenge upon him. It's exactly as bad as it sounds. But the rest is so good! Argh. However, I am tempted to try the Spider Jerusalem Experiment. For one day, from early morning to late at night, to watch television. To do nothing but watch free-to-air television. Take it all in. I think it'll either result in some amazingly interesting blogness or my brains running out of my ears. I have 8 or so issues of The Word sitting waiting to be perused. i should really do something about that.

LISTENING I've found a cheap CD shop (10 CDs for $50) near my work, so I've resupplied my musicness. Here's a list because I couldn't be bothered keeping up the format of my own blog entry:

• Pulp - Hits (I don't know why I keep buying Pulp albums. I think I need to admit that I like the idea of pulp more than I like the actual music.)
• Two Door Cinema Club - Tourist History (discovered this through Soundtracking, fun electro-indie pop stuff. Highly catchy)
• Grinderman 2 (Grind Harder? Electric Boogaloo? More strange and interesting stuff from Nick Cave and the Dirty Three. However, like with the first album, I'm only keeping about half of it in my rotation.)
• Cold War Kids - Robbers & Cowards (Indie. But not hipsterish. I like it. Next question.)
• Muse - Absolution (More epic soundscapes. Sounds great through big headphones. May lead to slight air guitar)
• Kaiser Chiefs - Yours Truly Angry Mob (cementing the fact that yes, I really like the Kaiser Chiefs. They are fun and I like them.)
• Siouxsie - Mantaray (I've had three tracks (Into A Swan, Loveless & Drone Zone) from this album forever. I think I got the best tracks, as the rest of the album isn't all that.)
• She Wants Revenge - This Is Forever (more of the same from the Joy-Division-sounding darkwave-post-punk-electro duo. This is not a bad thing. This is a good thing.)
• The Puppini Sisters - The Rise & Fall of Ruby Woo/Betcha Bottom Dollar (Andrew-sisters-1940s-style-close-harmony-singing mixing covers of Beyonce and the Bangles with old school swing hits. Addictive and wonderful.)
• The Bravery - The Sun And The Moon Complete (What's this? a two-disc set with the same songs on each? It's the original garage-sounding 2007 album on Disc-1, and the same songs redone and re-recorded with a more electronic synthy twist on Disc 2)
• The Pipettes - We Are The Pipettes (60s Girl Group tribute act. Pure summer pop goodness. Check out Pull Shapes, as mentioned in Jamie McKelvie's Phonogram: The Singles Club)
• ...And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead - So Divided (these guys continue to impress me, though seemingly no two of their songs are remotely the same in tone or genre. Lush and layered sounds that sound fantabulous through headphones or good speakers)
• Beastie Boys - Hot Sauce Committee Part 2 (have only listened to a bit of this but it seems like a return to form)

There! That'll do it. That should give you something to do for a bit.

Mic Wars: Jedi Vs Sith

Day 19. There was no day 18 update due to a lack of t-shirt. I had to wear a collared shirt for an info session with a potential employer, but since I wore it with jeans, people kept referring to me as a cowboy. Nnrgh. Mic Wars, from TeeFury! Kind of hard to read it all. What I love about this shirt is all the detail. Even the medallion on the AT-AT says "Tougher than Blasters" which is a take on Run D.M.C.'s "Tougher Than Leather". More of a view.

It was a nice day today. So I tried to write a note to my boss. Didn't work so well. But it was totally worth a shot.

Also I have more interviews next week. Plot thickens, and that.

Ludwig Von Beethoven: Metal Legend

Day 14. Posted late! Late!

So many people don't read this shirt. They just assume it's a random heavy metal band and don't realise it's CLASSICAL. YEAH. CLASSICAL.

So my new job has been postponed. Indefinitely. Or "until further notice", as the official statement goes. I'm doing other interviews, so everything is a little up in the air.

I also realised yesterday the difference between going to a bar on Karaoke night and going to a Karaoke place with rented rooms. That difference being, at the bar? You need to be able to sing. In the room, everyone's just hollering along and it all gets drowned out. In conclusion, I have no voice.

You Won't Know What Hit You In The Slightest

Day 12.

This'll be a shortish post as I've had both a doctor's visit (in which I was cross-examined and given what appeared to be a sobriety test) then a physio visit (in which I was beaten and turned to Silly Putty) all to try and stop the waking-up-with-searing-pain-in-my-head thing. Here's hoping. On an unrelated note, today was such a beautiful day that I drained my iPhone dead taking pictures of buildings, clouds, trees, and occasional people.

Today's shirt is a Scott Pilgrim shirt. Most people get that. But only a few realise that it's a reference to the album "Goo" by Sonic Youth. Those few who notice make me happy.

Polar Beer Maaaaaaaaaaaalt Liquor

Day 8, late in the evening.

So this is another Teefury shirt, by the great Ian Leino. It was my second purchase, bought when Tanja and I were watching Lost like nobody's business, before the inevitable burnout mid-season 3. The shirt is crammed full of references, but as I learned, Lost as a show is so dense that very little of it has filtered through into Pop-cultural Osmosis, ie that someone on the street would recognise a reference.

My struggle today has been with my main iTunes playlist. Basically, when I had my 32 gig iPod Touch, I had about 25 gig of it filled with music and the rest with podcasts, TV shows, movies and apps. Then when I got my iPhone (same size), I tried to put the same playlists on. No dice. Not enough room, apparently. So I whittled it down, but then had very little room for other things.

Time passes and I decide before Christmas to clear off the main music list, put a small music list on, and fill the rest with video. This was in preparation for the Christmas break, where we'd be at Tanja's folks' place and I'd be bored. What I didn't expect is that I'd get new CDs during the break, add them to the list, then realise the playlist was too big.

Time passes again. I've got more apps now (4.5 gigs worth) and the list I'm STILL trying to add is 25 gigs. So now I'm trimming songs. The going is is slow, because the more recent tracks I've uploaded are much larger in size (due to my hating compressed sound on my big headphones), and the old songs I'm sick of are 2-3 megabytes. Also, throughout the process, I've been downloading new things, getting new CDs, and (here's the worst bit) taking old CDs and re-ripping them to replace old compressed songs because I want the better quality. It's a Sisyphean task, damnit.

Adam & Alan & Myf & Spicks & Specks

Day 2! I am sticking to this self-imposed regime.

So this was one of the merchandised shirts from the Spicks & Specks live show when it toured. I did not go to this show, though I wanted to. Spicks & Specks has, over time, become the only network TV program I watch when it's on. Other than that, I have no appointment viewing in my TV schedule. And, being the sole survivor of that habit, I often miss it when it's on, due to not being in the habit of sitting down at a certain time to view something.

Also, as I have to remind people, this shirt is a pastiche of a Ramones design. I also like Warren Ellis' take on this shirt.

I've chosen it today because we're going to see some of Tanja's friends in Epping for lunch, and as they have children, I've been asked not to wear anything "rude". My shirts aren't rude! Well, most of them aren't. I think the kiddies would have enjoyed the shirt I posted yesterday.

Rudie Can't Fail

Lately I've been listening to The Clash more than usual. This is partially due to my showing Strummer: The Future is Unwritten to Tanja, and partially due to the fact that I've restricted the music on my ipod thanks to my playlist growing too large for it. Rudie Can't Fail is one of my favourite Clash songs, as it's cheerful, easy to sing along to, and has a happy vibe which befits sunny Australian afternoons.

Or so I thought.

I googled the lyrics on my way to the store because I wanted to send out a tweet with what was in my head on a loop and didn't want to get the words wrong. When I had a read all the way through, this is what I found.

The lyrics describe a young man being harassed by an Unnamed Someone for being, essentially, an angry young punk wasting his life drinking and generally wrecking up the place. The young man replies that he knows his life prevokes the Unnamed Someone by its very existence, but that he was born without knowledge of who he should be or his place in the world. In the bridge, (I think it's a bridge), the young man explains that he dislikes his lack of purpose, and went out looking for a Way to follow to fill his void. The world gave him back anger and pain initially, then instructions to "curb his temper" and "find a job in the paper", and go to church and "find a saviour", essentially curbing his questioning spirit, in order to make fewer waves. His response?

I reject your reality, and substitute my own.

I will be angry, and rude, and drink in the morning, and be provocative, until you give me a better answer. The track ends with the young man calling out random insults to the Unnamed Someone, calling out his pork pie hat and "chicken skin suit", which is both his outfit and his cowardice.

So yeah. Nice sunny happy song, right?

This is about the feeling you get, you know, like when you're the smallest doll in a babushka doll.

This kind of got me a little bit. Just a bit. Sniff.

Stick around for the 4th verse.



For those who are impatient, this is the 4th verse:
This is my body
And I live in it
It's twenty-nine and twelve months old
It's changed a lot since it was new
It's done stuff it wasn't built to do
I often try to fill it up with wine
And the weirdest thing about it is
I spend so much time hating it
But it never says a bad word about me

This is my body
And it's fine
It's where I spend the vast majority of my time
It's not perfect, but it's mine
It's not perfect

*sniff*

An end before a return.

So it's the last day of my holidays and it's time to review my list.

[-]record a demo show for Mike's radio station's boss:
Did not do. I've organised the ideas a bit more clearly in my head (that I'll make two shows, one as an indie/rock show, you know, for kids, and one as an anything-goes with three songs at a time on a theme). I haven't recorded any talking because I don't have a microphone because yes, I procrastinated on that too. I've now bought one off eBay, but it's not going to get here in time. I also find it ironic that my brain's response to not get anything done on a task is to create more tasks for me not to do.

[-]register my ABN and look into the shirt press idea that I meant to do in freaking January.
Nope. Started the ABN process Wednesday morning, only to find that before I can get one, I should a) register my business via snail mail which takes two weeks and costs $152, and b) be "already conducting business." What? Before I get registered, I'm to be conducting business? Tanja later explains that they mean I should be ready to go and start the day my ABN is registered. It seems they're petrified of people registering, then not filing any returns for 6 months. Problem is, the money I need to lay out for equipment and substrate is substantial. The whole point is that I have an ABN so I can claim it back as expenses. Then there's the equipment I researched. Turns out there are a few different methods of heat-pressed inkjet printing, and my current printer and inks will produce shirts that fade in two washes. So now, instead of a heat press and sheets, I need a heat press ($450-$1150), a special dye sublimation printer ($675-$1000), special inks to go with the printer, special sheets (two kinds, one for cotton, one for dark clothes, both about $1.50 per sheet), plus the actual shirts to print on.

Further study is needed.

[-]practice with Ted and lay down some tracks.
We practiced yesterday. Ted has a very fancy new kit that he's letting me use that has great snap and response. However, I was not as sure of the one track we wanted to record as I thought, and stumbled through a few records. We then tried to improv on something new, which we kind of did. Then we talked about games and stuff for ages. I then showed him the works of Brian Brushwood, which he liked (I think. It's hard to tell with Ted) which was awesome, but not productive.

[-]relax a little. Sometime.
It's so weird. I didn't feel like I was on holiday this whole holiday. As I described it to Tanja, it was like an extended Sunday that lasted two weeks. Now, don't get me wrong. Sundays are nice. I like Sundays. But there's always the knowledge that the next day is a Monday, so you don't completely relax. I'm not sure I completely relaxed all fortnight. We did fun stuff, like seeing How To Train Your Dragon and Tanja's dad's 60th (where, apparently, I was the life of the party, go figure), I've been cooking more, to more or less okay results (only one mishap involving a pot burning). So why aren't I all mellow?

When Tanja finished her holidays, she was very sad, not wanting to return to work. However, her first day, she said she was all energised and got lots done.

Here's hoping.

Focus!

Alright. This is the first non-long-weekend-day of my two weeks of holidays. The first week Tanja is home with me, the second week its just me.

Things I intend to do in this fortnight:

[-]record a demo show for Mike's radio station's boss to consider (best left for second week, when Tanja's not around).

[-]register my ABN and look into the shirt press idea that I meant to do in freaking January.

[-]practice with Ted and lay down some tracks.

[-]relax a little. Sometime.

Also? I'm writing this on Tanja's laptop and I realise that I hate all laptop keyboards utterly. They don't register when you type.

Hyp(irate)ocritical

So I buy iTunes cards with some vague regularity. Let's say one or two at a go, maybe every 1-3 months. Usually I won't bother unless JB has some sort of deal like two $30 cards for $40. Most of the time I'll get one around the same time as The Word magazone and after I'm done with the magazine, I trawl through the reviews, make a list of the stuff I like and try to find it on iTunes. The reason for this is simple: most of the stuff The Word talks about isn't available to be pirated, so I stopped trying. Also, iTunes store is accurate, high-quality, and I know what I'm getting is the real deal.

Now I've been a pirate since Napster at university and am not averse to torrenting something if I'm not able to get it legally due to Coming-To-Australia-lag (I'm looking at you, Avatar: The Last Airbender, True Blood & Dollhouse). Conversely, I have the stance that when I like something created by the little guy (be it an iPhone App, or a podcast like TikiBarTv), I'll pay to help support them (like buying the Apps instead of jailbreaking, or buying merch for TBTV).

This leads to some interesting situations. Last month I had a $20 iTunes card. I read The Word, and found a bunch of tracks from Half-Man Half-Biscuit, Zoot Woman, Wintersleep, Hockey, and an oddball English Beat track. However, one of the reviews was for She Keeps Bees, a two=piece that drew comparisons to the White Stripes, which got my attention. Nowhere to be found on iTunes. So? Straight to PirateBay, where I found an EP and a CD. Turns out they weren't that impressive and I only kept a few tracks.

On the flipside of that anecdote, I bring you another: today, $30 iTunes card in hand, I looked up Kill It Kid, and bought two of their tracks, then, on Sam-from-work's recommendation, looked up Them Crooked Vultures. Quickly, I found 5 or 6 tracks I liked, then thought "Bugger me, I want the whole album." iTunes had it for $19.95 ($3 more than usual!) which gave me pause. I like the album, sure, but did I want to spend 2/3 of my rarity-finding-money, with half the magazine left to browse, on 1 album by one artist?

So I bought one single, then pirated the rest of the album.

Am I a hypocrite?

Also, here's a video from Zadi at Epic Fu, whose message about copyright I completely agree with.

Jeepers.

What has an afro, a ten-octave vocal range, and is awesome.

Reggie Watts, that's who. We saw this on Good News week, which made me run to the computer and book tickets to see him:


Then I felt glad I had because he did this later:


There's tons more of his stuff on teh YouTubes.

There's Noel in Christmas.

Is it me, or is the song "The First Noel" an example of bad song-writing disguised as old-timey language?

A few examples:

[-]"The first "Nowell" the angels did say
Was to certain poor shepherds in fields as they lay;
In fields where they lay keeping their sheep,
On a cold winter's night that was so deep."

Firstly, Why repeat the 2nd line by slightly mangling it into the 3rd? You've just started, and you're making callbacks already? Okay, so it was to certain poor shepherds in fields where they lay. Okay, that I get. They lay in fields. I'll accept that, even though you're changing around the natural grammatical placement of the words to get a rhyme with "the Angel did say". But then to follow in immediately with "In fields where they," in the next line is redundant. You just said that. Even as a little kid I thought it was a typo. Or maybe that was an important thing to get across in the 16th century. Maybe it was a conversation point.
"Hey, you know shepherds?"
"Of course I do."
"They lay in fields."
"No kiddin'?"
"Yep. In fields they lay."
"Imagine that. Wacky guys those shepherds."

Also, When was the last time you looked out at a cold night in Winter and said that it was "So deep"? The SNOW may be deep, the thing the person next to you may be "so deep, man." But the night? Really? Again, it's a cheap rhyme with “sheep”. But is sheep so hard to rhyme?

[-]"They lookèd up and saw a star
Shining in the east, beyond them far;"

Okay, so the shepherds, in these fields, in this really incredibly deep night, they see a star. Apparently, this night-time miracle is shining in the East, “beyond them far.” Do you mean “far beyond them?” Nope. Beyond them far. It seems either Yoda (“Hrrrm, Myrrh, I have brought you.”) or Billy Joel (who's still ordering “tonic-and-gins” whenever he's in a bar) is writing this.

[-]And then the chorus. Everyone knows it. It goes “Noel” a bunch of times, then tells us in Yoda-speak that “born, is the King of Israel”. And then something about how "Hard to see, the Dark Side is". It occurred to me as rather handy that Jesus is to be King of a place that so nicely rhymes with the word for the night of his birth. Had he been King of Saskatchewan, would we be singing about the first Hakeem-Elajuwan? Or the first Nahasapeemapetilan?

Oh, and an added bonus? When researching this post, I saw that there are three old verses often omitted from modern renditions:

“Between an ox-stall and an ass
This Child there truly bornèd was;
For want of clothing they did him lay
All in the manger, among the hay.”

I know why this was left out. Some of us kids had a hard enough time keeping from laughing when a minister uses a word like ”Hosannah” (Oh, Hosannah, oh don't you cry for me, 'cause I'm come from East of Canaan with a banjo on my knee). Hearing about a naked kid next to an ass would have had us rolling in the aisles.

“Then did they know assuredly
Within that house the King did lie;
One entered in then for to see,
And found the Babe in poverty.”

Leaving out the unnecessary “assuredly” (which is now verging on Calvin-and-Hobbes G.R.O.S.S. Motto rhyming), that last line? Finding a babe in poverty? I've seen films that start that way. And not the kind of films that win Oscars: “C'mon, baby. You wanna be a star?” Come to think of it, I've heard jokes that start that way. “You can spend the night, but don't touch my daughter.” Cue banjo-chase music and farmers with pitchforks.

'If we in our time shall do well
We shall be free from death and hell,
For God hath prepared for us all
A resting-place in general.”

A resting place... in general? In general.
“God, we've been good, we're here, where should we stay?”
“Oh, someplace in general. You know, over there.”
“Anywhere specific?”
“No, just somewhere.”

I think if I'd led a good life, abstaining from drinking, dancing, various sins of various fleshes, God would have a room picked out for me. You know, corner suite, not too near the ice machine, good view of the clouds. I was unaware Heaven would have worse seating plans than the Big Day Out festival.

Anyway, clearly I've put too much thought into this. Well, this is what happens when you make me wait for a desk to be delivered all day, and I work in the garden to kill time. Be told.

Birthday thoughts.

I’ve never considered myself hard to buy for, but lately I’ve had two requests for What I Want For My Birthday (both from Mums, oddly enough) and I haven’t had a clue what to say. I’m pretty sorted with movies and TV series, CDs too, and I’ve got 4 newish video games for the PS3 and a bunch of demos, so that’s no good. Books, I’m sorted, apart from back-catalogue Robert Rankin. Comics, I tend to buy myself as I find them. So yeah. Don’t know.

And the obligatory "made me lol" video.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Recapping and mentioning t-shirts. A lot. (reposted from The Lucas Letters)

"Dear Family;

Well, Bill Bailey was very funny and extremely entertaining as always. Plus I got to learn that when it comes to music, the augmented fourth chord (or diminished fifth chord, depending on your worldview) in considered not fit to be played in a church or in hymns. It was classified as a dissonance, because the sound was supposed to awaken bad thoughts. All this means for us today is that it's used in every haunted-house movie because it's very sound provokes uncertainty. Cool. The show wasn't all about historical musical nerdery. There were jokes too. I bought a tour t-shirt, which was the first shirt of that sort that I've ever bought at a show.

Oh! Also at the show I had a wonderful moment. As you all know, I print t-shirts for people. Most of the time it's for people I know or work with. So imagine my surprise when, while waiting in line at the Bill Bailey show, I spot someone wearing one of the 10 shirts I made for a band called Xquabed a year or so ago. I even saw the little Ampersand on the sleeve. I wanted to go over and talk to the guy, but common sense (and Tanja) told me not to embarrass him. Oh well. It was still a thrill.

Speaking of shirts, I've just had a monster order put in by various work-people. I ordered 20 blanks online, and I'll need to print them as soon as they get here. One guy originally said he wanted 2 shirts. He then got on the phone to his brother and ordered shirts for his brother, his brother's wife, his brother's son, ending up with 8 shirts total. I felt like telling him "You know, guy, you can place more than one order. I'm not dying next week."

Poor Tanja's been feeling a bit sick lately, but my super-immune-system has been keeping me safe.

All for now!

-Lucas"