You little fucknubbin!

So yesterday after work I met up with Ashleigh and later Ted and Craig at the Rose for inane chatter and amusingly named cocktails (Ash had a Monica Lewinsky. I had a less-amusingly-named but very nice Poached Pear and Ginger Daquiri). Anyhoo, under the thumb as I was, i headed home at 7. Had lovely vindaloo made by Tanja and watched Licence to Kill.

Then we realised we hadn't seen the cat in like three hours.

After a frantic search of her usual hiding places reveal no pussycat, we came to the worrying conclusion that she must have escaped outside.We thought she must have scooted out either when I arrived, or when I put the garbage out.I grabbed the bag of cat food, and wandered around the neighbourhood, shaking it plaintively. Despite sighting two cats, neither was ours. Tanja then joined me and we both looked.No joy. It was getting close to midnight and we got back to the house, resolving (shakily) to call the RSPCA and Cat Protection Society in the morning. Then Tanja went into the backyard and heard something. A quiet, plaintive meow. She called to me, and I did the stupid movie thing:

Tanja: "Listen! I think I hear her!"
*beat*
Me: "I don't hear anythi-"
Tanja: "SHUT UP!" (lol)

We could hear her voice coming from either the backyard next to us, or the one behind that. Cue us running to our neighbours door. Knocking. No answer. Tried the next one along. Woke up a little old lady who let us into her backyard (and was very polite for someone who had just been woken up at midnight). No cat. I stood on her fence to look into the yard between ours and hers. And saw a little white face. I went into the back alley again and found a way to push in the roller-door to the yard and squeeze through. Retrieved the cat, who scratched me for her troubles.

My exact quote: "You stupid cat! I'm going to beat you until candy comes out!"

So we have her again. And her backyard priveliges have been revoked (it turns out she climbed the fence and jumped over. I didn't let her out after all). Tanja and I were relaxing in bed, de-stressing, and I mentioned that this was good practice for parenting.

She gave me an evil look and said "If you ever lose my kids like this I'll beat you."

I patted her head.

"Don't worry honey. I'd never tell you anything like that."