Meeting Cool People and Losing Street Cred

So you know how people can meet famous people and be cool about it and say things like "They were cool, you know, no big thing."?

I am not one of those people. I know this because i just met Ben Templesmith (@Templesmith on Twitter).

I was heading off to my lunch, looking forward to 30 minutes of wandering in circles with my headphones on, when Erin stops me.

"Hey, you know Ben Templesmith is signing stuff at King's Comics today, right?"

*beat*

"Nnnnnnnnooooo..."

"Oh, I assumed you would, you being a huge fan of Wormwood (Wormwood: Gentleman Corpse which I got Erin into last month), you'd know."

"I did not. I shall go now."

"Well, hurry. He's only there for another 30 minutes."

She was shortly talking to a Lucas-shaped cloud of dust. I knew it's usually about 18 minutes to get to King's. I took off so fast that I didn't realise my headphones were playing no music until I was halfway to King's.

I sent off a Tweet on the way:

On the way I passed some protesters or picketers or something. I dutifully took a photo of them and made it into a tiny planet, but did not slow down.

Made it to Kings, and saw him there at the table.

I don't go straight up to him, of course. No, instead I imitate the action of the young man attempting to ask out a girl/rob a bank, I made a full pass around the store, then bought the TPB of Fell (as well as the new Fables for Tanja), chatted with the clerk about how I'd "better buy this before he signs it, ha ha." Then I walked over. The person before me was talking, so I took a moment to leaf through the sketches and art he had for sale. I was fixing to buy one until it occurred to me that the "1600" written on the baggie might not be an in-a-hurry-way to write "$16.00" but might in fact be "$1600.00" and I was afraid to ask. I decided I would go with some colour prints that were clearly labelled "$20". Then it was my turn. I proffered my Fell book, and asked for a print. When he asked for my name, I told him it was Lucas. He brightened: "You're the guy from Twitter! You have purpose!" I would have like to have reacted well. However, being me, I freaked the fuck out. The rest of the time was spent chatting with the lovely lady next to him whose name I did not know (girlfriend? Iunno.) as she noticed I was Canadian and she was from Alaska. Ben pointed out that technically Canadians are Americans, as they are from the continent of North America. I jumped in saying he was technically correct, "the best kind of correct!". Then I left, feeling that I had overplayed my hand a little. I only realised when I was halfway back to work that I had not given him the $20 for the print. So Mr. Templesmith. Ben. I apologise for geeking out all over you. And I will mail you a shiny Australian $20 bill for the print. Sorry I couldn't be cool. You're just too awesome.

Costanza'd

So this week is sort of planned out for Tanja and I. I'm on 1:30-9:30 shifts, and we're planning our barbecue on Sunday. So Tanja made a huge spinach pie/quiche thing, with the intent that it can be my lunch and her dinner over a couple of days (Monday & Wednesday). I was to make chilli on Tuesday, which would be my lunch and her dinner for Tuesday and Thursday. Also, at some point, I was to take down the skeletal remains of the pagola in our backyard, and also make a trip to Dan Murphy's to pick up booze.

So this morning, Tanja takes the mince out of the freezer so it'll be defrosted by Tuesday. then goes to work, reminding me of the schedule on the way out. I get up, have my breakfast and coffee, loaf around a bit watching Avatar, then decide, "Okay, time to take down the pagola". It goes relatively smoothly, with me not having to hacksaw anything, and only one of the pieces dousing me in liquified rust. I get finish, wash all the grease & crap off my hands and glance at the clock. It's 10:41.

"Oh no," says I. "I need to get the chilli on the stove. It takes an hour to cook, and if I still want time to eat it, I'll need to start right now!"

So I do. I prep the vegetables, get the spices, get the onion simmering, then take the mince out. It's frozen solid. "Stupid fridge!" says I. "It's almost like it hasn't been out of the freezer more than an hour!" So I use the microwave and a hot knife to break it into pieces.

I get the chilli simmering, realising it'll finish at 12:30, and that'll only leave me like 10 minutes to eat. I make my sandwich, and wrap it up. I go to put the lettuce back into the fridge when I see the spinach pie. And realisation hits me.

I call Tanja and explain that I'm an idiot. She really agrees.

So now I'm putting the chilli in Tupperware as soon as it finishes, wrapping up some Spinach pie, and having that today.

Also? Today being Monday? I start at 1, not 1:30. So I'll have like 10 minutes to get to my train.

For I am Costanza, Lord of Idiots.