I Knew It Was A Trap!

(Oh, and before I start this tirade, I should mention that almost as soon as I finished blogging the last entry, the phone rang again and I got an interview for Wednesday morning at 10:30. When it rains, it pours. Or.... does it?)

So I had my first interview Tuesday at 3 at George Street Marketing Agency. After filling out a huge application form (6 pages of 'what would be your dream job' and 'why do you feel you are a self-motivator', what a bunch of bollocks) I interview with a really cool enthusiastic guy who tells me all about the company and how they work for Energy Australia and Citibank, and how they do below-the-line marketing. Sounds good. Then they say that they want people who want a foot in the door and a career and such. Sounds great. Then we talk for a bit, and I come off all smooth and everything. He says I'd be dealing with business-to-business marketing to keep existing customers, and it'll be 36 to 37K per year. That gets my attention. I say "Well, as long as it's not going to be selling stuff to people on the street, it's fine." He tells me to come back for second interview, which would occur at 8:30 on Thursday, in which I could go to the location and see what they're doing and whether I like it. Sweet.

On to the next interview. It's at PhD Marketing (part of the RISA group, which apparantly is 200 marketing companies in 24 countries and is flush with moolah). They say (after having me fill out another big application ('Are you comfortable working in a team environment? Give specific examples of when you were part of a successful team.') that they do below-the-line-marketing for AAPT telecommunications and they want 100 people by April, 10 of whom will be in supervisory roles. Sounds good. They also do business-to-business marketing. Right. Ok. Sounds familiar, but do go on. Same speil, but he says I should come back Monday for the second part of the application process, which is a one-day trial. Nine to five. Unpaid. Competing against another guy (Oh, and this interviewer also has a wierd habit of asking me questions about my interests as listed on my application and then zoning out when I respond, so I end up talking and then trailing off, and there's a moment of silence and he blinks and gives himself a shake and goes "...Right!." and we proceed). So I leave, with a wierded feeling, and get home to explain this stuff to Tanja. She gets all nervy about the one-day-trial-unpaid thing, which is apparantly incredibly illegal under HR legislature, and I decide not to go back to PhD or to the Monday thing.

So. Wednesday. 10:30. I show up at the interview for Elite Advertising Group. I fill out, I shit you not, the EXACT same application from the first place. Then in I go. She goes over my application and everything's good. Then she says she's in charge of below-the-line marketing for Doctors Without Borders and World-Vision (uh oh). And what she wants me to do, is join her team of (and I apologize for this, but I have to stress it) PEOPLE WHO STAND OUTSIDE TRAIN STATIONS TRYING TO CON PEOPLE INTO CREDIT CARD DONATIONS!!! Gah! I take her card and leave, thinking that I'm never answering a call from them again. Also, on the way back, I stop at Lowes and Myer and get some dress shirts (as the one respectable one I have is showing wear), which is an adventure in its own right as I'm a size 39 in a size 44's world.

Anyway, this morning I show up at 8:30 at the office, and another guy gives me a whirlwind talk about the job without telling me anything new, and then says "Ok, Henry here will be taking you out on the job to Caringbah." Caringbah's a suburb that's an hour train ride away. I know this because I had to ride the train there. And pay for my own ticket. It would have been $8.80, but I had my student card, so it was $4.40. I asked Henry if they reimburse for travel, to which he replied that he keeps all his weekly tickets and they reimburse him 30% of them at tax time. Uh oh.
So on the train ride, Henry explains stuff to me. He (and I) would be canvassing businesses. Cold. We were going to walk into a business, ask to see the manager, inquire about their outstanding debts and credit cards, and offer to pay them all and charge only 6.9% interest with no account fees. I wasn't impressed. Apparantly it's completely commission-based. No base salary. He gets $40 for each person he signs up, with bonuses for the options they get. I was about half an hour, then I stop him and say "Look, I think this is where I leave you."
"Really?"
"Yeah. This isn't what I expected."
"Yeah, Ok. See you."
And I wander back to Caringbah station, feeling like crap, then have to wait 30 minutes on the platform for the 1 hour ride to the city. There go three days of my holidays. And I had to return a shirt to Myer because it had highlighter on it! Pink highlighter! And they didn't have my size in the style I wanted! So I had to pick a less-good style.

Thank God Tanja and I are going to the Hunter Valley this weekend.