So yesterday I was sitting naked in a beanbag chair eatin' cheetos..."

Ron White on Police Competency:

Ron: "The last time there was a shootout, the cops fired so many shots and missed that the criminals got frustrated and shot himself.

Cop on TV: "It's not fair, he's wearing body armour. We're shooting him, but it's not working."

Ron: "I can see his head! SHOOT HIM IN THE FUCKIN' HEAD! Give my kid a shot! *pow!* 'Howzat, Daddy?' Good job, son. Nevermind, y'all. Poot took him out!"


Ron White on Vegetarians:

Vegetarian: "I'm a vegetarian because raising cattle is bad for the environment, with the cutting of rainforest for grazing land, and cow flatulence in the ozone and such. Ron, what are you doing to help the environment?"

*pause*

Ron: "I'm eatin' the cow."





Bwa ha ha ha.