Oy.

I've just been hit with a wave of despondency. Here I am, checking my email on a Monday morning. I should reply to my sister, but i don't feel like it. My movie group people are attempting to organise certain nights, one to see the Constant Gardener (which I have no interest in seeing, as seemingly no one knows what it's actually about), and one to see a play (which costs $55 a ticket, which I can't and won't afford, but the rest of them can, have GOOD jobs and being older and richer than me). I wanted to see Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, but they planned it for a Friday when a) I had just gone with them on the Sunday to see Me, You, And Everyone We Know and had spent my movie money for the week, and b) on one of the few nights off I get to be with Tanja lately. I've also got a farewell at work this Friday that I don't really want to go to, a Christmas party on the 6th (at a fucking Bowls club, no less) which will be starting at 4pm, but which I and the other poor saps scheduled to work that night, won’t be able to get to until 11:30, by which time all the food will gone, and the people will have been weeded down to the few pissheads who are left at the end of every party. All this is not being helped by the fact that I’m reading John Birmingham’s “He Died With a Felafel In His Hand”, and I’m past the early funny parts, haven’t reached the funny ending, and am bogged down in the depressing middle, which is all about living with junkies and freaks and ferals. Fun times. Only not. I have stencils to cut for the vinyl art I want to make, but I can’t bring myself to start. I rented some movies: Unforgiven (which I told Bruce the Movie teacher that I’d watch and tell him what I thought), Biodome (which Tanja declared that she’d outgrown her like of after watching it last night. Duh :P), Life Aquatic (which was SO odd and not that interesting), Confessions of a Dangerous Mind (which looks like one of those films that require work and so I don’t have the energy for), and The Ladykillers (ditto). Ugh. And it’s raining. And I’m going to be at work until 11 again tonight wandering my section, surveying all the damage done by marauding teenagers, having no room to put out new stuff, and realizing that a cleanup would take the entire night, and if I did so and didn’t finish, I’d get the talk of “why are you starting tasks you can’t finish, Lucas?” from the boss. Also, there’s yet another drama with Tanja’s sister and her fucking knob of a boyfriend. I’m honestly at the point where my first response upon hearing there was a problem was “fuck ‘em.” because I didn’t have the energy to mediate and keep the peace like I always do. Not to mention that the only way I get Christmas Eve off (when Tanja’s folks have their festivities) is if I work a 10:30 to 6 am on the 23rd. You see, Borders has decided that we’re going to be open from 9 am the 23rd to 6pm the 24th. You know, to catch all the folks who turn up at 4 am Christmas Eve wanting a John Steinbeck novel. If I don’t work the night, I’ll be working till 11pm the 23rd, and then til 6 the 24th. Since it takes 2 hours or so to get to Tanja’s folks’ place, that won’t do. The holiday season, ladies and gentlemen. Bring your wallets.

I need more coffee.