Got on the plane this morning (after hearing some funny names over the airport intercom, Worsley Kingsford & Mrs. Chimay) armed with World War Z: The Oral History of the Zombie War and Tanja in tow. Arrived in a surprisingly sunny Melbourne (weather guy wrong YET again) and made our way to our new digs for the week. It’s on Liverpool street in between Bourke and Little Bourke streets. It’s not a hotel, but a fully-furnished apartment larger than the first flat Tanja and I shared. Big honking TV, DVD player, leather lounge, fancy carpet, futon, view over all of Melbourne. Very swish. Then we went out for a walk to get a view of the neighbourhood.
Whoa.
Within a one. Block. Radius. We have five wine bars, a laksa house, a Japanese tapas restaurant (figure that out), a microbrewery (eeee!) restaurant that specializes in 12 kinds of chicken parmigana, a Greek restaurant (whose menu advised you to ask for lotsa bread and feel free to make a mess), the James Squire Brewhouse, a proper English Pub called the Elephant and Wheelbarrow, two bookstores, a comic book shop (two doors down!), and Blessed Mary, mother’a Jesus, a Tiki Bar/Thai Restaurant called Mai Tai Hawaiian Bar.
And that’s just within a block and a bit of where we’re staying.
We nearly had a heart attack looking for a place to have lunch. Tanja had a dose of what I call the Wentworth Effect.
Allow me to explain.
In Terry Pratchett’s book The Wee Free Men, young Wentworth Aching, aged 3, is kidnapped by the Queen of the Fairies. Wentworth, a perpetually sticky child is perpetually wanting sweets. As the Queen is looking to please him, she puts him in an entire room full of sweets. However, he sits in the centre bawling his eyes out without touching any of them. The reason? Total sensory overload. By moving towards one part of the candy, he is automatically moving himself away from some of the other candy. Which is tantamount to blasphemy. So he sits in the middle crying.
Tanja, and I are feeling this because we have 5 days. That’s 10 meals (5 lunches and 5 dinners, unless we turn breakfast into a practice-lunch) with which to experience ALL OF THIS. Fair breaks your heart. But we’ll manage. J
**Later**
After a quick wander-around, we decided on Parma’s Restaurant & Microbrewery for dinner. We each decided to go with the specialty of chicken schnitzel parmigiana, Tanja getting hers Mexican-style with salsa, sour cream, jalapeños and guacamole, and me getting mine with Italian meatballs spiked with tarragon. What was delivered was a piece of chicken schnitzel the width and diameter of a football. Huge. Very tasty, though. Complete comfort food. It came with side orders of chips and salad which was completely unnecessary. On the beer side, I started with the “Hopinator” double India Pale Ale (7%, amber colour, very rich caramel flavours with warm malt and a surprising finish reminiscent of natural yogurt) and moved on to the 2 Brothers Growler (5%, American Brown ale, very dark, malty, followed by a left-turn in flavour, turning to milk chocolate with watermelon hints, which as I consumed became raspberry, strange and full of character). Tanja had a Victorian Riesling and a Mountain Goat pale ale. I also grabbed two bottles for the fridge back at the apartment: The Grand Ridge Brewery Black & Tan Ale & Stout (I’ve never seen a pre-mixed Black & Tan before. You get the hoppy, crisp up-front taste of the lager, followed by the rich chocolate taste of the stout. Highly satisfying) and a Holgate Brewhouse White Ale (which I have not had yet).
Tanja and I are both very full now. We’re going to watch some Star Trek and not think about food.
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