How do barbers get paid???

Really. Is it by how many pairs of scissors they wear out? Commission per snip? Or do they just bag up all the hair and then weigh it at the end of the week?
The reason I'm asking is because I'm trying to figure out why "trim the sideburns and the back so I don't look scruffy but leave the top and most of the sides because I'm growing it out" becomes "ruin two months of studious hair growth in ten minutes by thinning it without asking me and chopping off huge bits under the pretense of 'blending'".
Where's that monkey? I want something to shoot.

You see what happens?

Ugh. See, this is what comes from trying to arrive on time! I came in at 9:15, thinknig to log in at 9:30 and being all ready and everything. Then I sent an email to Tanja, who replied "Don't you start at 10:30?" Bugger. So I pottered around, bought some cinnamon doughnuts and a scratchie lotto ticket (won nothing). And now I'm back at work. My body clock is an idiot. Tanja gave me some excellent advice:
"Recommend switch brain on in the morning."
And an ambiguous phrase:
"God you are your own worst tool!"

Addendum.

My newish love of beer is tempered by the fact that beer-drinking leads to beer-drunkenness, which I find deeply unpleasant. Vodka-, tequila-, and wine-drunkenness are pleasant and fun. It's merely the drunkenness that beer places upon me tends to make me stupid and incapacitated. And ridiculously hungover the next day.
It's this (and other) circumstance that caused me to cancel on poor Ted for the Sounds Like Chicken concert on the 3rd. That, and the fact that though the doors opened at 6:30, the band had 5 opening acts, and the real band would have taken until 11:30 or so to be on stage. And I had to work at 9 the next morning. And I didn't want to be the prick who, halfway through the set, had to prevail upon Ted to give me a lift home. So no SLC. Oh well.