Meet the Meat.

*Warning: This post not for the squeamish or puritan vegetable folk*

I was just intimidated by a piece of meat. Tonight, I'm making Aussie Berko. At Marrickville, I asked the butcher for 4 pieces of beef Osso Bucco (the shin piece). Those 4 pieces came to a kilo and a half due to two of them being enormous. As part of the recipe, I have to brown the pieces in the casserole dish before it goes in the oven. These two pieces are so big, I have to brown the meat in two batches. I then take the meat out to rest while the veggies cook. As it was resting, I glanced over at the topmost and biggest piece. And it grossed me out.

I'm not that squeamish, not really. Admittedly, I don't like things that stick to my hands while I cook (like egg or mince or flour or things like that) so I rinse my hands a lot. But this? Okay. I'll try to explain.

Osso Bucco, or shin beef, looks like this. That is fine. But this piece had been badly cut, which meant that in addition to the central bone, there was a second half-piece of bone stuck to the bottom. This second piece was belled outward, so it was most likely fron the end of the bone near the joint. You know what else is near joints? Tendons. Ligaments. Things that look like tubes or straws. So after I'd browned the meat, I took off this second piece of bone and there was a reddish mess of tubes and I nearly gagged.

Yes. I understand meat comes from an animal, an animal that was once alive. I get that, I understand that. For some reason though, that just hit me.

The meat is now in the oven. I shall conquer my moment of fear by consuming it in a delicious tomato-dark beer sauce.

....or I might cut that bit out and leave it on the side of my plate.

On an completely unrelated note, last night, while making Sausage & Zucchini Carbonara (a future Cooking Post), I was zesting a lemon overzealously, and manages to drag the zester across my thumb. Here it is after a day of healing (it bled like a mofo). Today Tanja and I stopped in at Caketown to pick up something, and chatted with the guy who runs the place. As he handed us out purchase, he noticed I had a bandage on my thumb, and showed his own thumb, which had a cut a few days old on it, and said we were in the same boat. "No," I replied. "Lemon zester." He made a face, turned away and threw his hands up all in one motion (which was a thing to behold) and declared "Eyargh! That's why I work with pastry, not with meat! Ugh!"

So I got to feel tough.

Edit: A post-script. The meal turned out to be so bad as to be inedible. The meat was tough, even near the bone, and the broth, which is usually rich and flavourful was bland and tasteless. Clearly, I should have gone with my gut instinct and backed off. So the whole pot (meant to be two nights' dinners) went in the bin. I'm further frustrated because Tanja is always hesitant to have this dish, as stews are not her favourite thing. The first time she had this, she did not like it. The second time she did. This time, I had to convince her to have it for dinner. Which then failed spectacularly. I don't think I'll get to make it a fourth time. [glum]

Introspection & Gazing At Navels.

I love my wireless keyboard. Not just because I can operate the computer on the TV, but mostly because when I type quickly on it, it sounds like a typewriter. I have always loved the solid, clunky immensely satisfying *clunk* of typewriter keys. I even briefly flirted with the idea of buying an old one off eBay, just for the cathartic feeling of typing (I was held up by the fact that you can't buy ribbons for them anymore, and anyway, shipping would be a bastard).

 

Today is my first day on prescription pain medication. As anyone who's known me more than 5 minutes knows, I've suffered from headaches pretty much all my life. I hesitate to call them migraines, as what people have described to me as migraines does not fit what I get. More accurately, they're just really bad headaches, usually focussed at the base of my skull in two little knots. I have no doubt that things like stress or adrenaline bring them on, and they are occasionally resistant to medication, and often helped by physio. Lately, and by lately, I mean in the last fortnight, I have been having... different experiences. I'll go to sleep about 11:45 or midnight, then wake up roughly an hour later with a headache. A specific kind of headache, only on the left side of my head. For a moment, it'll feel like a minor thing, like you might have after just one too many beers the night before. But then as soon as you shift in position, it levels up.  If you'll forgive my purple prose for a moment, I'll describe the feeling: imagine a ball of lightning. Not a big ball, perhaps the size of a golf, or ping-pong ball. And it's spinning and roiling on the surface, kind of like the CGI Sparks in the Beast Wars: Transformers TV show. This ball sits just inside my left temple, and throbs. Then, in a motion I can only describe as similar to the lightning attacks in InFamous or Storm from Ultimate Alliance, it will lash out with lightning strikes. These strikes can hit anywhere along my head, but seem to like just behind my eyebrow, the sinus next to my nose, my upper molars, the hollow behind my jaw, and yes, the base of my skull. When they strike, they tend to march along a path, like an ellipses (you know, one of these --> ... ... ...) and then conduct off the bones in my face, before retreating again. The severity of these strikes can range from electric-shock-uncomfortable to body-wracking-painful. The first time it happened, it hurt so much I could barely speak. I have never hurt that much that I can remember. I tried to get up, but couldn't. I had to wait until the strikes died down, then lurched out of bed, staggering, really, up to the kitchen looking for some panadol. I also heated up a wheat-bag heat pack, and laid it on my face until the medication kicked in, and I could relax enough to go to sleep. The next morning, no pain. However the next night? Repeat scenario. This basically was three nights of last week. Only once did it carry over to the day after. Night before last, it happened again, just as severe as the first time. But it stayed. I had the same feeling all morning. I took more panadol (panadiene now, with codeine) but or once, the edge did not come off. No. Instead it got worse. And I was at work. Blurred vision, loss of balance... I at one pointed wished I could do something as dramatic as collapse so people could see how much I was hurting. Finally, after a "go to the doctor, you bloody fool" email from my loving wife, I did. Dr. Lentham, who I'd gone to before for my other headaches, looked on my file, and tried to offer my Cafergot. "You gave me that last time," said I. "The caffeine nearly did my head in." (see earlier post for caffiene related wackiness). So after hearing how bad it was, he prescribed Durotram XR (or tramadol hydrochloride to those playing at home) along with a huge pack of dissolveable aspirin. Instructions? Take one Durotram before bed. It will slowly dissolve over 24 hours, and take 3 aspirin when I get a headache, and 2 more if it doesn't help after 3 hours. I took the Durotram last night. I woke up at 1:00am with another lightning blast. Got up, took the aspirin, went back to bed. Did I mention that my brain tends to process the pain visually? Blame years of video games and TV. When it hits, I usually involuntarily picture marching lightning bolts raining destruction. Last night? It was raining fire. Odd, surreal, cartoon fire. I eventually got up and slept on the couch to spare Tanja my tossing and turning. This morning, I was wide-awake at 7:15 with the oddest feeling. I'm still in pain, but I feel like my head is numb. As I described on Twitter, it's like I'm standing between two white sheets on two clotheslines, looking West, while behind the East sheet is a huge grey silhouette (that would be the pain). There's a breeze blowing, and the sheets move and someties I get a glimpse of the grey in the corner of my eye (followed by a brief, but solid pain that, were it in a comic book, with have the sound effect "SPANG" like the glint of sunlight off a blade), but then it will fade back. And, if you'll keep to the metaphor for a moment, I don't want to turn, or move too quickly, because the sheets are barely any refuge. I feel fragile, like a spiderweb.

 

Also, if I may dirgress for a moment, I'm finding myself focusing on things too intently. Anyone who's known me for the afore-mentioned 5 minutes also knows that I doodle. A lot. Almost compulsively. It's a habit I picked up in high school, carried on to university, and worked into my various careers, be they retail, on-phone, or managerial. When I was on the phones, I could go through a pen in 5 days. As a symptom, I've also gained the habit of buying pens (usually gel pens of varying brands, I prefer 0.7mm points or above, rollerball better than brush) from newsagents. I have a huge pencil-case at work (which at one point 6 months ago, was raided and many of my pens stolen, which displeased me to no end). I usually have a few in my backpack, in case the mood strikes me. This morning, as I was watching The Digg Reel & iFanboy, trying to relax, I had grabbed the desk calender from the computer room and was using my Pilot Vpen (you know, the ones with the fountain pen nib?) to doodle. My usual subjects are stars, which I've taight myself to draw freehand, without interior lines, specifically what some people refer to as "<punk stars", but compounded with many layers, and random words being said around me or thought by me in block letters, usually serif, done in alternating outline and filled styles, though occasionally I'll like the look of certain letter) were being used, but I realised something: I was bringing my face closer and closer as I drew, the edges becoming sketchier and sketchier, like something out of a Spawn comic (ironically one of the discussion points on iFanboy). After a while I was not paying attention to the show, just watching myself draw. I had to shake my head to break my concentration. Is this part of the medication? I don't know.

 

And I still find it ironic that a potentially side effect listed for headache medication is "headache".

Never Trust The House

I seem to have shifted in my medical habits. Well, less of a shift, more of a move in a straight line: from doctors to physiotherapists.

Now, I hadn't been to a physio before I got whiplash and needed a few visits. Since then I've been back 8 or so times for things such as headaches, back spasms, sore heel/achilles tendon, and more headaches. I usually go to the University Sports clinic, but I've been to one in Newtown as well.

Recently, I've been getting soreness in both my elbows after doing things like playing drums, shaking martinis, and when I curl my arm under my pillow. It happened off and on for about for months until last Wednesday, when I woke up in the middle of the night and had had enough.

I went to the doctor at Broadway Clinic. Called ahead. Booked an appointment for 9:45 (I started work at 10:30). Sat in the waiting room until 10:55. I get into the room and the doc (who is not one of the usual people I see) immediately (and I mean before I even say what's wrong) starts lecturing me that I need immunization for Whooping Cough (after a serious of relationship questions that I answered with no idea as to what they were for). He then moves on to what I was prescribed last time I was there 9-10 months ago: Cafergot, which is a migraine medication. This was prescribed after 39-straight-day headache (the doctor then had said it probably wouldn't work, or stop the pain in any way, but I should take two, and then two more each half hour it didn't work). I told him I took one dose, and the 60 Mg of caffeine (that's a 6-pack of coca-cola) in each pill had me bouncing off the walls, so I stopped. He then typed "Allergic to cafergot" into my file *facepalm*. He then prints out 3 pages of migraine advice sheets and a migraine diary for me. He then turns to me and asks why I'm there.

"It's my arms, actually." I almost felt bad to see his face drop. Oh, and the migraine? Cured by one physio appointment.

Anyway, I explained I first started noticing after mixing drinks on Fridays (which got a glary look) and after playing drums (which got a confused look). He feels my arms, notes a "tightness" in my biceps, then asks if I "lift weights". I explain that yes, I go to the gym, but it doesn't bother me at or after the gym. He then says "Well, it's probably a contrasting muscle cramp. Your triceps are too weak compared to your bicep." I look at my two-pipe-cleaner arms. "Really? I do roughly the same amount of weight with biceps and triceps."

"Oh yes, you should be doing two to three times the weight with your triceps than with your biceps."

Ummm, okay. Never heard THAT before.

He also cheerfully informs me that it's not arthritis, so he won't send me for bloodwork. He also says a bunch of others things it's not, confusing the issue. He writes a recommendation for a physio (which is A) sealed in an envelop, so I can't see who or where the physio is located and B) the outside of the envelope is a RANDWICK address. No thank you) but then adds that I shouldn't get a physio unless I get an x-ray.

Anywho, he sends me out to pay with an armload of paper and no real explanation for the arm-thing. Bothered, I then go right across the street to the University Sports Physio clinic.

I book in for 12:30, show up at 12:30 on the dot, and am not sitting for more than 30 seconds before they're ready. Meet Chris, the physio, and describe what happened. He starts check out my arms while I'm talking, getting his own idea of how far I can turn, where it hurts, etc. I explain the doc's idea, which he describes as "Fair enough, I mean, you shouldn't be doing too much more with your bicep, but yeah. Clearly it's your nerves."He explains that it's the nerves in my shoulder- and elbow-sides of my tricep that are being stretched in a wrong way and are causing me pain in complaint. He gives me a list of gliding stretches to do (and demonstrates them) and suggests I improve my posture at work to relieve some of the pressure. Then comes the shoulder and tricep massage that was agony, and left me bruised but pain-free afterward.

And here's my point (he said, two pages in): I prefer physios to doctors because they actually DO something. They'll hear you out, have a look, give their opinion, then in a hands-on-way, sort you out. It'll hurt, sure, but you'll be better for it. That's more than I can say for just about any doctor I've been to with the exception of one, who was an acupressurist/acupuncturist, who was a great doctor because he ALSO actually did actual things.

This is being exacerbated by Tanja and my watching the first 8 episodes of the first season of House. I like it, but it points out how doctors (even highly trained good-looking specialist doctors) are just best-guessing. House is constantly kvetching about how an ER Doctor or a GP would prescribe or diagnose the wrong (and usually the worst thing) they could. I believe it. I actually had a normally good doctor attempt to diagnose me with asthma because my breathing was raspy while I had a cold. Admittedly, I had taken a Codril earlier and was feeling better, so made my breathing sound worse than it was, but still. The guy spent 10 minutes trying to convince me to get checked for asthma.

Example:

Zoidberg: “What is it this time?”
Fry: “Well, my pipe hurts a little.”
Zoidberg: “That’s normal. NEXT!”

So yeah. It’s physio for me. Unless I have a cold/asthma.

Bliss.

Freedom from pain! Yes, friends, after 35 days straight of headaches, I am free from pain. It came to a head Friday when I woke up with a absolute humdinger. The entire left side of my head felt like it was going to fall off (and judging by how much I was hurting, I wouldn't have minded if it did).

So I went to the Doctor in the morning, making a 9:30 appointment. Got there at 9:25, but I didn't actually get to see the doctor until after 10. Why do I bother making appointments? So the doc sees me, and says I should get some physio. Okay, fine.

I call the University Sports physio that fixed my whiplash. They're closed until January for Christmas. Same situation with a few other places I call, some until February, even. February! That's a nice long Christmas break! So I get a recommendation from a workmate of Tanja's for a place on Erskineville road. I go there, but they’re all booked. I sign up for the cancellation list and just make it home when I get a call that there’s an opening.

So here’s what the physio guy said was wrong with me: all the little muscles that connect my neck to the base of my skull are all knotted up and scrunched together. These snarls put pressure on the bones of my skull, keeping them from their natural movement and locking them together. The lack of natural movement causes a build-up of pressure, which causes pain and headaches. Think tectonic plates locking together and causing LA-rattling earthquakes.

So he, using some high-pressure massage, pushed back the snarled neck muscles one at a time, letting them fall back into place where they usually sit. I was sore the rest of the day from the manipulations, but as of Saturday, fine! It may not be permanent, and I may need some remedial physio, but I am one relieved guy.

I am also a relieved guy with a new 32 gig iPod touch! Tanja got it for me for Christmas. It’s got Wifi, web browser, pop-up keyboard, it takes applications from the App store, and has a huge widescreen video screen. I like it a lot. I’m now in the process of streamlining my 13000 song play list to fit on the new iPod and phew! I have a lot of stuff I’ve never listened to.

Suck It, monkeys! I've gone corporate! (reposted from the Lucas Letters)

"So yeah. We've been back, and as the title suggests, I am no longer a spanner in the works. I am now a cog in the machine. In English? I am now the team leader of the mighty juggernaut that is 42. It's the team I came from and it's the team I know best. I also know it's thanks to their glowing feedback and stunning performance when I was ATLing that I got the job. I find that now that I'm an official team leader and not just a long term ATL or a fill-in, my view of the centre where I work has changed. People that were the bane of my existence are now either on the same level or a step below, and so I no longer have to take their crap or leave them unchallenged. Not that I'm in it only for the revenge, of course. There's also a slightly better chair.

Bought a new pillow day before last. It's due to my 20-days-of-headache that I had throughout the honeymoon, and the fewer, but still noticeable times I've had since I came back. Tanja and I each have a moulded neck-support pillow that, while looking like a university-lounge couch cushion, provides the support so our spines aren't ripping themselves to bits while we sleep. However, it does take some getting used to. Night before last when I tried it for the first time was awful. Waking up every hour or so and then a giant massive migraine in the morning. Last night was way easier, so I think it's just my body reacting.

Speaking of my body reacting, the first two times you go to the gym after a near 3-week absence? Expect to hurt the next day. Yeah.

Tanja's been hopping back and forth to the mountains lately, to help out with her mum. I've been going up too, but I always feel like the proverbial fifth wheel, just sitting there until someone asks me to do something. I'm giving support, though, so that's the important part. Overseas Christmas presents have been sent, and most of the local ones have been picked up. Even though it's 2 weeks to Xmas, I don't feel particularly holiday-like.

-Lucas"

So!

[-]Saw Iron Man. Loved it loved it. Missed the scene after the credits, though. And La Premiere is the only way to see it.

[-]New TV delivered! After a lamentable purchase of cheap coaxial cable, got a good one and can now get all channels (including HD and digital ones). Have so far watched Hot Fuzz, Stardust, Lord of the Rings and *sigh* The Devil Wears Prada.

[-]Played drums for the first time in weeks on Saturday. Wrist held up, but started to hurt once I stopped. Played D&D briefly as well. Don't feel I was very productive in either arena (35 minutes of drumming and killing one wolf in D&D in an hour and 45 minutes).

[-]Got a good book of comic strips called Roasted by Andy Riley, a former Black Books writer. Very good. Dooga, there's one guy who IS you.

[-]Got a Crumpler backpack today. It also has a removable laptop sleeve which fits my laptop. So one-the-go gaming. Now only if I can get a battery that lasts more than 20 minutes.

[-]Aiming to get 30 Rock Season 1 this week. I was going to pick it up today, but it was $50 at Hum, and I know I can get it at EzyDVD for 34.95. Patience.

Typing with one hand is hard.

Not what you're thinking, you dirty buggers. I was crossing George St on Thursday and tripped over a bump in the road. When I fell, I landed funny on my right hand, and rolled to my elbow, and knocked my head. My head, knees and left hand were fine. However, the groceries I was carrying and my right wrist took a beating. The next morning it hurt like hell. Tanja suggested I go get it checked out. Turns out I wrenched the ligaments on the ulnar side of my wrist, but no fracture. What that means is that if I turn my wrist 45 degrees to either the left or right, it hurts like hell. Which I learned when attempting to casually reach for my mobile, wallet, or open a door. So now I have to wear a wrapped crepe bandage around my wrist at all time, an ice pack when I can stand one (I've misappropriated a wine cooling sleeve as a makeshift glove, which gives me a Hellboy-style Right Hand of Doom or a Mega-Man-style blaster arm), and as of today, a sling. It's no fun. Can't drum (specific doctorb's orders, as for some reason she knew I was a musician), can't play Playstation, can read (but only if the book's big enough) and can watch movies. Watching the Rifftrax version of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone and reading Fables and a few issues of Grant Morrison's run on New X-Men.

Ass Whiplash

So I took part in this work event called Rumble in the Park. It pits rival offices against one another in challenges. My event was called the horizontal bungee. It involves running along a jumping-castle-like-lane with a harness and three bungee cords attached to it. you run as far as you can, place a Velcro sponge on the line, then the cord snaps you back. The first run snapped me back so far that I landed on my shoulders, neck and head, then rolled backwards onto my stomach. I felt nothing then.

"Then" being the operative word.

The next morning I couldn't raise my head off the pillow. The tendons at the front of my neck were screaming, my abs (such as they are) felt strained and the muscles along my spine and neck were seized up. Cue headache. I took some Nurofen and Tanja put some Voltarin on my back which let me walk around as long as I kept my head still.

It's amazing how much your head moves when you're talking to someone on the phone while using a computer. I lasted about an hour at work before calling sick. Tanja had the number of the Sports Physio place at the University, so I booked an appointment.

Turns out I have whiplash. The Physio said I had symptoms common in car accidents Or, as he added wryly "horizontal bungee injuries." Hardy har har.

So my stomach muscles are bruised, my neck needed realignment (read: cracking) and my neck muscles and the tendons at the front of my neck needed deep-tissue-massage. Which fucking hurt. I felt ok for most of the rest of the day, the symptoms only coming back around 8:30. I have a followup scheduled today.

My neck hurts.

Also, in an odd confluence of circumstances, I hurt my nose last night. I was plugging the DVD player in behind the TV stand and I bumped the wires leading to the PS2 controllers, one of which crashed to the floor. The other, sensing what was causing danger, fell from about a 4 ft height and cracked me on the side of the nose. This, to Tanja, was the funniest thing ever. I have a bruise there now.

I'm falling apart.

Ugh.

I've been waking up with a headache every day this week. It's always on the left side, starting at behind my eye, travelling across my scalp and then setlling at the base of my skull. Ugh. I'm chewing through my asproclear and nurofen supplies.

On the plus side, beat Marvel: Ultimate Alliance. Again.

Also, everyone go to Adrian's blog. It's in my links.

Oh, and another thing.

Fancy new clothes! Tanja got me two shirts and a fancy pair of jeans from Fcuk. Very posh. In order that I wouldn't step all over the backs of the jeans, I finally bought the pair of 8-hole Doc Marten's I've been ogling. Like a moron, I wore them to work on Sunday. Shredded feet. Hobbled around. Waited two days, let me feet heal, and wore them again with two pairs of socks. I was fine all day until i had to run up a flight of stairs to get to the train. Shredded heels again. I'm still happy with them, though. Heh.