What I Got (continued)

WATCHING Forgot to mention a few more podcasts. Despite my dislike of their myriad of convention shows, iFanboy is still going strong since leaving Revision3. Their shows on Frank Miller and Starman have been my favourites lately. LifeHacker is one I've been trialing, and is nothing but good so far. It's basically tips on how to streamline and nerd up your life and work, such as making a cord-free office, making an emergency lamp out of a tuna can, or a laptop bag out of your hoodie. PennPoint is handy because when I watch it minimised, it's like listening to a radio show hosted by Penn Jillette. One of the few podcasts where video ain't necessary, which is good when your battery is low, or you have Twittering to do.

APP-ING I've been leaning away from iPhone games lately, using my phone much more for media and web-based stuff, though one has grabbed my attention: ShapeShift may look like a Bejewelled clone, and maybe it is, but it's highly addictive. My only gripe is that it's not timed, but turn-based, and you don't get any bombs (the only things that'll stop a game) until at least 8-10 minutes of gameplay. So until that point there is absolutely no challenge. It's also a battery-suck. I've also been playing a bit of Fruit Ninja, since they updated and added Arcade mode, which really changes up the action, adding power-ups and rewarding you for creativity. I've long been a user of Words With Friends, sometimes running as many as 20 games at a time. This has become its downfall, though, as the sheer number of games combined with an instant rematch after each win or loss has rendered the joy of winning obsolete. As it doesn't matter, then my motivation for playing is lost. I've branched out into its cousin, Hangin' With Friends, but it's not grabbing me as much. The random nature of Hangman means you either get the word straight away or you have no idea and flail about getting things wrong. I therefore don't feel accomplished when I get something, I just feel lucky. Social-media-wise, SoundTracking has been my latest download. It's free, and it is to music what Instagram is to photos. You can have to grab what's playing around you (handy in bars or music shops) or grab what's on your iPhone and post it with a comment. The big honking downside? Nobody's using it. At least, no one that I know. That means the service only exists to post songs to Facebook, Twitter, etc. Without the rich community that Instagram has, I don't think it'll stick with me long. Speaking of Instagram, it's become one of my primary ways of interacting with my social networks. You guys think I tweet a lot? My Instagram feed is 2-3 times as full. However, my love of skylines and clouds has gotten me tons of likes from people I don't know, but annoys the crap of people I actually know. So swings and roundabouts. Speaking of Apps, I still can't find a good blogging app for iPhone that'll let me post photos to Blogger the way I normally do, and it shits me.

READING I've been digging through the pile of books I've had since Christmas and cleared a few off my list. I finally took the plunge and read The Gunslinger by Stephen King. Despite high hopes, I did not like it. I found the language too florid and the characters inscrutable, taking actions I did not understand and they did not explain. I was waiting for the actions to make sense, but no one gave any explanation for what they were doing apart from it's "what I must do." Great. Thanks. One I had no preface to was iBoy by Kevin Brooks. It's a kid from the housing projects outside of London who has an iPhone hit his head from a high height and gets superpowers. Yep. Initially it's just an internal processor and all the knowledge of the InterWebz, but then it extends to a personal forcefield, electrical powers, telekenesis and, well, whatever the plot demands from the scene. No upper limit or explanation is given for these powers, and he essentially runs around beating up gang members until the finale, which by that point I did not care about. It was not a good book. The third volume of Transmetropolitan by Warren Ellis, and the series is starting to bug me. It tends to alternate between wonderful, funny and interesting stories, and then perhaps one issue in three will be terrible. It's inconsistant stuff like that that I want to push through to get to the good stuff. Example? A sentient police dog that Spider castrated during a riot seeks revenge upon him. It's exactly as bad as it sounds. But the rest is so good! Argh. However, I am tempted to try the Spider Jerusalem Experiment. For one day, from early morning to late at night, to watch television. To do nothing but watch free-to-air television. Take it all in. I think it'll either result in some amazingly interesting blogness or my brains running out of my ears. I have 8 or so issues of The Word sitting waiting to be perused. i should really do something about that.

LISTENING I've found a cheap CD shop (10 CDs for $50) near my work, so I've resupplied my musicness. Here's a list because I couldn't be bothered keeping up the format of my own blog entry:

• Pulp - Hits (I don't know why I keep buying Pulp albums. I think I need to admit that I like the idea of pulp more than I like the actual music.)
• Two Door Cinema Club - Tourist History (discovered this through Soundtracking, fun electro-indie pop stuff. Highly catchy)
• Grinderman 2 (Grind Harder? Electric Boogaloo? More strange and interesting stuff from Nick Cave and the Dirty Three. However, like with the first album, I'm only keeping about half of it in my rotation.)
• Cold War Kids - Robbers & Cowards (Indie. But not hipsterish. I like it. Next question.)
• Muse - Absolution (More epic soundscapes. Sounds great through big headphones. May lead to slight air guitar)
• Kaiser Chiefs - Yours Truly Angry Mob (cementing the fact that yes, I really like the Kaiser Chiefs. They are fun and I like them.)
• Siouxsie - Mantaray (I've had three tracks (Into A Swan, Loveless & Drone Zone) from this album forever. I think I got the best tracks, as the rest of the album isn't all that.)
• She Wants Revenge - This Is Forever (more of the same from the Joy-Division-sounding darkwave-post-punk-electro duo. This is not a bad thing. This is a good thing.)
• The Puppini Sisters - The Rise & Fall of Ruby Woo/Betcha Bottom Dollar (Andrew-sisters-1940s-style-close-harmony-singing mixing covers of Beyonce and the Bangles with old school swing hits. Addictive and wonderful.)
• The Bravery - The Sun And The Moon Complete (What's this? a two-disc set with the same songs on each? It's the original garage-sounding 2007 album on Disc-1, and the same songs redone and re-recorded with a more electronic synthy twist on Disc 2)
• The Pipettes - We Are The Pipettes (60s Girl Group tribute act. Pure summer pop goodness. Check out Pull Shapes, as mentioned in Jamie McKelvie's Phonogram: The Singles Club)
• ...And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead - So Divided (these guys continue to impress me, though seemingly no two of their songs are remotely the same in tone or genre. Lush and layered sounds that sound fantabulous through headphones or good speakers)
• Beastie Boys - Hot Sauce Committee Part 2 (have only listened to a bit of this but it seems like a return to form)

There! That'll do it. That should give you something to do for a bit.

This is about the feeling you get, you know, like when you're the smallest doll in a babushka doll.

This kind of got me a little bit. Just a bit. Sniff.

Stick around for the 4th verse.



For those who are impatient, this is the 4th verse:
This is my body
And I live in it
It's twenty-nine and twelve months old
It's changed a lot since it was new
It's done stuff it wasn't built to do
I often try to fill it up with wine
And the weirdest thing about it is
I spend so much time hating it
But it never says a bad word about me

This is my body
And it's fine
It's where I spend the vast majority of my time
It's not perfect, but it's mine
It's not perfect

*sniff*

Inflatable

Well, as an antidote to the generally negative tone of my last few posts, and in response to some lovely things Dooga said on his blog, here's somethig more positive.

Thanks to the generosity of people I work with, I ended up with a free ticket to Adam Hills' stand-up show at the Enmore theatre. I jumped at the chance, as I ove his work of Spicks & Specks and his DVDs. Well, apart from making me laugh so hard I nearly passed out (literally. I couldn't breathe), he had this classic Dad-Joke to share:
"There was an inflatable boy, who went to an inflatable school, with inflatable freinds and an inflatable principle. One day, he brought a pin to school as a joke. He got into trouble, though, and was brought to the principle's office. The principle said 'You're in big trouble. You've let your school down, you've let your friends down, you've let yourself down and you've let me down!'"

Heh.

Adam used this as a jumping-off point into a discussion with his imaginary son (he was positing what sort of wisdom he could pass on, were he to have a child apart from the definition of optimism being "sitting in a Nissan Micra, where the speedometer goes to 240"). I'll try to remember it as best as I can:

"Well, son, maybe... maybe we're all inflatable. And we have the power to inflate and deflate each other. And if you say something nice to someone, they inflate, like this *stands up straight*, and if you're not nice, they deflate, like this *slouches down*. And if at te end of your life you can figure that if you've inflated more people then you've deflated, then I guess you've had a pretty good life."

He then went on to speak about a friend of his who had died in the past year and how she was a real inflator, and how as her trademark, she always wore bunny ears to the Edinborough Fringe festival. She had died at 31 and the next year, all of her friend had gathered at the Festival to mourn and to celebrate her life, and without arranging it beforehand, they had all brought bunny ears. He said that talking about her was sad, but it was happy too. In the early hours of the morning, weary and heavy hearted, he had walked back to his hotel, head down, feeling very deflated. Then he started noticing that people passing him were smiling, large and openly, and it was only after the fifth person that he realised that he was still wearing the bunny ears from the party. He sat down, and he laughed, and he realised that even 9 months after she had left the earth, she still had the power to inflate him and the people around him.

I thought that was lovely.

Recapping and mentioning t-shirts. A lot. (reposted from The Lucas Letters)

"Dear Family;

Well, Bill Bailey was very funny and extremely entertaining as always. Plus I got to learn that when it comes to music, the augmented fourth chord (or diminished fifth chord, depending on your worldview) in considered not fit to be played in a church or in hymns. It was classified as a dissonance, because the sound was supposed to awaken bad thoughts. All this means for us today is that it's used in every haunted-house movie because it's very sound provokes uncertainty. Cool. The show wasn't all about historical musical nerdery. There were jokes too. I bought a tour t-shirt, which was the first shirt of that sort that I've ever bought at a show.

Oh! Also at the show I had a wonderful moment. As you all know, I print t-shirts for people. Most of the time it's for people I know or work with. So imagine my surprise when, while waiting in line at the Bill Bailey show, I spot someone wearing one of the 10 shirts I made for a band called Xquabed a year or so ago. I even saw the little Ampersand on the sleeve. I wanted to go over and talk to the guy, but common sense (and Tanja) told me not to embarrass him. Oh well. It was still a thrill.

Speaking of shirts, I've just had a monster order put in by various work-people. I ordered 20 blanks online, and I'll need to print them as soon as they get here. One guy originally said he wanted 2 shirts. He then got on the phone to his brother and ordered shirts for his brother, his brother's wife, his brother's son, ending up with 8 shirts total. I felt like telling him "You know, guy, you can place more than one order. I'm not dying next week."

Poor Tanja's been feeling a bit sick lately, but my super-immune-system has been keeping me safe.

All for now!

-Lucas"

Sun, then Rain. (reposted from The Lucas Letters)

"Dear All and Sundry,

The weather the last few days has been crazy. First, on Friday it was suddenly hot from 2:30 pm to when the sun went down, and then yesterday it was 32 degrees for the first time since the January before last. Then today? Hail and thunderstorms. It's all going down, man!

This week has been work, work, work. Since I'm working 11:30-8 every day, it's like I get just enough time to get up, go to the gym, go to work, work, then come home, eat dinner, and it's then like 45 minutes before time-for-go-to-bed again. Another assignment due on Thursday (which I haven't started yet), and I'm printing a bunch of t-shirts for someone at work (which I did yesterday morning, looking every bit the mad artist, with paint on my fingers and for some reason my cheek). Yesterday afternoon Tanja and I picked out interesting paper for the various invitations we're making and sending out (which is odd, because the people we're inviting already know when things are happening).

Had cake and coffee for breakfast this morning, which was pleasant. Oh, and we're going to see Bill Bailey at the State Theatre this Tuesday. Should be very good :).

All for now,

-Lucas"

Musings on the final Seinfeld.

Having picked up the last series of Seinfeld recently, I had a chance to view the finale for the first time since it originally aired. Upon this re-viewing, I noticed two points which had escaped me when I first saw it. I call them "It's all been done" and "What were we doing?"

Point the first: It's All Been Done.
In the opening scene, George and Jerry are in the coffee shop, and George is complaining that the waitress is inattentive. He would like more ketchup. "They seat you, and then they're gone. Adios!" he explains "It's like seeing someone and having them never call again." Jerry then suggests he ask the people behind him for their ketchup. George does so. The couple behind him have a very George-and-Jerry-like conversation about how they dislike passing condiments and how "they'll use it sporadically, so they'd rather not." George is angry, but Jerry distracts him by asking if he wants to see a movie. George then begins to rant about how it's always the same, and that he's seen it before. While Jerry protests that he hasn't seen this movie before, George rants on saying it's always the same: you go in, sit down, eat your popcorn, and then it's over. The couple behind him then get up to leave, and offer George the ketchup bottle. George accepts it, but when he goes to use it, it's empty.

I realised that this scene is a microcosm for why Jerry, and co. didn't want to continue working on the series. Observe. In the scene, the waitress is the viewing public. When the show was new and fresh, they were there. Now that it's a staple, people have accepted it and moved on. The ketchup is key: it symbolises the laughter and attention from the viewing public. The couple, who have the ketchup, represent the dozens of other shows using the Seinfeld formula (unrepentant singles, sitting around talking about themselves), even if they use it sporadically (like Friends) or constantly (Mad About You). By doing so, however, they get the attention of the public as the new It Show. Jerry asking George to go to a movie (a common plot thread throughout the series as a way of getting the characters out) is Jerry (in his guise as the writers/cast stuck in a rut, and the network wanting the same old thing) asking to rehash the same thing yet again, and George rejects it, becoming both the public wanting fresh ideas and the writers not wanting to write stock. Then as the couple/new shows leave/are cancelled, they offer the ketchup/viewership back to Seinfeld, and it's empty. People are tired of the rehash, so they get sick of the original. Once the new couple/show leaves, the regulars are still there, eating the same sandwiches in the same booth.

(I think that makes sense. It made sense in my head.)

Point the second (and the shorter): What Were We Doing?
The whole point of the trial in the second act was the writers and cast turning a mirror into exactly what has become this nationwide sensation and template for damn near all future sitcoms. People will discuss the show amongst themselves, say how great it was when Jerry was callous to a new girlfriend, or George tried to cut a corner, or Elaine talked herself into a corner, or Kramer did something without considering the consequences. The things being held up as hilarious and amazing are things that, had they happened to us in life, we'd be appalled by. Think of it as Passion of the Christ-lite: This Is What You've Been Worshipping.

(That being said, I still love the show, and felt this was a strong season, and look forward to seeing more on DVD.)

Saturday.

"It's natural selection at work."-Me, after Tanja and I noticed a bogan child bashing itself repeatedly in the head with a water bottle.

And we did our shopping and we got a banged-up trolley. But it was more than that. It was an ex-military trolley. It was used to attach limpet mines to the hulls of enemy craft in wartime. It had an odd, glazed stare about it, like it was saying "you weren't there, man, you weren't there." And the other trolleys were giving it a hard time.
"How could you do that, man? How could you be working for the man?"
"Look, man! I'm doin' it for my kids! For the little baskets!"
"But how could you work for the man?"
"Just stop dissin' me man!"

...

Because they were 70s blaxploitation trolleys. Of course.

And we're watching GoldenEye and my brain keeps going "But that's not Severnaya! In Severnaya you start in the cells with throwing knives!"

"I was happier then, with no mindset..."

(The title has bugger all to do with my mood, it's just a line I like from a song I'm listening to at the moment)

We finally got a new music guy at work. We hired him last week, but he didn't show up for his first few days. It seems my direct boss Worth neglected to call him to tell him when he was supposed to start. Well done, Worth. Dumbass. Oh, and guess what the blighter's name is. Two guesses, but you'll only need one. Lucas. Yes. So now I'm "Lucas B" or in Tanja's case when she calls in, "Lucas from Canada". Just rolls off the tongue.

Oh, and to people in the area, I'm planning a dinner/night at the pub next Saturday (the 1st) for my birthday. Plan at the moment is to meet up here for an early dinner (this has been decreed a wine only event in order to ensure that we actually GET to the pub) and then off to the Rose in Erskineville. Sound good?

As for other birthday stuff, Tanja and I are going to see comedian Charlie Pickering at the @Newtown venue. I've not heard of him before. Does anyone know if he's any good?

Also, if to beleaguer an open-ended paragraph structure, I’ve begun properly reading Robert Rankin, and I’m really getting to enjoy his books (despite not liking “The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse” as I was unfamiliar with his style). Any of our English brethren know of/read him?

This is too much fun:
It's like Buster the Dummy from Mythbusters!

I need a haircut soon. I'm starting to look like an exhibit from The Golden Age of Muttonchops.

So yesterday I was sitting naked in a beanbag chair eatin' cheetos..."

Ron White on Police Competency:

Ron: "The last time there was a shootout, the cops fired so many shots and missed that the criminals got frustrated and shot himself.

Cop on TV: "It's not fair, he's wearing body armour. We're shooting him, but it's not working."

Ron: "I can see his head! SHOOT HIM IN THE FUCKIN' HEAD! Give my kid a shot! *pow!* 'Howzat, Daddy?' Good job, son. Nevermind, y'all. Poot took him out!"


Ron White on Vegetarians:

Vegetarian: "I'm a vegetarian because raising cattle is bad for the environment, with the cutting of rainforest for grazing land, and cow flatulence in the ozone and such. Ron, what are you doing to help the environment?"

*pause*

Ron: "I'm eatin' the cow."





Bwa ha ha ha.

Naughty Laughter

Tanja and I were watching the Melbourne Comedy Festival Debate last night. The topic was "Does God have a sense of humour?" and it was bloody wonderful.

Anyway, one of the guys went up and mentioned that his proof that God DID have a sense of humour was all the religious memorobilia sold in Jerusalem, like Pens and hats of Jesus. He said he tested them by going into a stall and asking for a giant Jesus head that you can use to squeeze orange juice, and the crown of thorns spin to harvest the juice, and the juice comes out the mouth. (I was already chuckling at this point) The vendor pauses, then says "No... we don't have those... but it's a bloody good idea!"

Wait for it...

"We can call it the King of the Juice!"

I nearly died.

I'm going to hell. Me, Martin Scorcese and Denis Leary are catching the express bus.

Oh, and two new comics.

Guess what?

Tanja's pished on wheat beer! It's funny! She's watching Frasier and laughing at the... less intellectual jokes. Like "good-cop-horny-cop".