Does whatever a spider can, apparently.

Last night, we spotted this little beauty in the corner of the hall ceiling. Doesn't look like much, does it? But then, that's not what it looks like up close.

It's about 5 inches across, and was big enough that Tanja didn't want to walk under it in case it dropped off the ceiling and landed on her face. I didn't want to squish it, as I hate killing spiders that aren't actively trying to kill me. What confused me was Tanja's insistence that if it wasn't in the same place this morning, she'd be more worried, because then she'd think it was in the bedroom.

Well, this morning it was next to the front door, so I shooed it out onto the front porch, where it hid under the fusebox. Cute little bugger.

Dictionary-style Quizzes.

"Lucas --[adjective]:
Pretentiously academian.

Loki --[adjective]:
Smelling like turnips at all times

Tanja --[adjective]:
Having the texture of congealed cheese

Craig --[noun]:
A hermit living in the big city

Taqwa --[adjective]:
Similar to butter in texture and appearance

Ted --[noun]:
A person with a sixth sense for detecting the presence of goblins

William Hesketh --[adjective]:
Tastes like fried chicken"

Quizzes! Fun for the whooooole family.

I need sleep. This shouldn't be funny.

I was logging into one of the systems at work today. and I saw this message:

"Password accepted. Logging into MERP on MERP."

This struck me as immensely funny for no apparent reason. It sounds like a demon bar. "Welcome to MERP's on MERP! I'm your host, Florg! And a big hello to Phnog, who's on his bachelor party tonight!"

Just silly.

So I was trying to see a movie....

After Easter, tried to get some people together to see The 300. But everyone had already seen it. So I said "Ok, let's go see Hot Fuzz instead." And some people said "Great! What's Hot Fuzz?" After I hit them, we arranged. But then Ted and Craig had early shifts the next day. And I got sick. So now I see no movies at all. *sniff*

Facing the Book

I've gotten onto Facebook recently (think a cross between MySpace and those Classmates.com websites, without the wankiness of the former and the stalking of the latter). I started going there as I was invited by three of my university friends who I haven't heard from in 5 years. So I go, and there's nostalgia, and horrible old photos, and it's fun. Then I start looking up high school people. That's an unexpected surprise as I recieve happy remembrances from people who I figured wouldn't know me from Adam. It's all great. Then I spot someone from high school. A past flame, as it were. A first flame, if you take my meaning. We weren't "flames" for very long, and stayed friends for quite a bit after. So I send her a message to add her to my Friends list. And she accepts. No biggie. Now comes the interesting bit.
Once someone is your friend, on your main page you can see all the activities your friends have made in the past 24 hours. It's usually trivial. "So-and-so has added Stone Temple Pilots to her musical tastes" and "whatshisface is back at home", etc etc. Well, the day after adding this flame person, I log on and see two activities (which came about ten minutes aftershe accepted the Friend invitation) which confused and then oddly enough, make me angry.
"This Person (no names, please) has changed her Status to 'In A Relationship'"
"This Person has changed her photo" (to one with a guy in the picture, from her previous, which was her and her girlfriends out at a birthday party.)
What the fuck? I really don't give a shit, but am I some drooling stalker over here? (sorry to channel Christopher Moltisanti, but it had to be done)
My response is to roll my eyes, and go tell my Tanja that I love her, but she's at work. a Text will have to do.

So, yeah.

So I got a birthday parcel from me ma today. I know what you're thinking, my birth was not until the 28th of the month, but me ma seems to have gotten with the postal program after our Christmas-in-early-March-debacle. So I opened it early. Now, Mom has this thing where she likes me to call when I get stuff, so she can hear me open it. I don't get why, but the one time I didn't olbige before caused heartbreak and gnashing of teeth. But I didn't call her today. Because then I'd be busted for opening it early. So I'm going to call her on my birthday. And say i've kept it and am opening it then.
Little white lies, come back to haunt you.... [/Sammy Hagar]

Fruit Art

Hey hey.

Ok, HouseWarmAid happened. Much smalled turnout than I expected and quite a few of the "confirmed coming for sure" people didn't show up or call or anything. I'll make with the frosty stare thing when I get back to work. An up-note was the oddest housewarming gift I've ever recieved, from Mel and Shae (as always, Blurty people please go to Blogger):

A Domo-Watermelon. I'm afraid to eat it.


Also, Tanja and I were watching 20 to 1 Best Videos (Tanja was ever so pleased that A-Ha's Take On Me made #8), and saw that a Peter Gabriel vid with a ton of Stop Motion animation made first place. As if! So, while she was off having a shower, I whipped up this little moment to show that no, he doesn't deserve his #1 spot (click to open... may take a second):

How do barbers get paid???

Really. Is it by how many pairs of scissors they wear out? Commission per snip? Or do they just bag up all the hair and then weigh it at the end of the week?
The reason I'm asking is because I'm trying to figure out why "trim the sideburns and the back so I don't look scruffy but leave the top and most of the sides because I'm growing it out" becomes "ruin two months of studious hair growth in ten minutes by thinning it without asking me and chopping off huge bits under the pretense of 'blending'".
Where's that monkey? I want something to shoot.

You see what happens?

Ugh. See, this is what comes from trying to arrive on time! I came in at 9:15, thinknig to log in at 9:30 and being all ready and everything. Then I sent an email to Tanja, who replied "Don't you start at 10:30?" Bugger. So I pottered around, bought some cinnamon doughnuts and a scratchie lotto ticket (won nothing). And now I'm back at work. My body clock is an idiot. Tanja gave me some excellent advice:
"Recommend switch brain on in the morning."
And an ambiguous phrase:
"God you are your own worst tool!"

Addendum.

My newish love of beer is tempered by the fact that beer-drinking leads to beer-drunkenness, which I find deeply unpleasant. Vodka-, tequila-, and wine-drunkenness are pleasant and fun. It's merely the drunkenness that beer places upon me tends to make me stupid and incapacitated. And ridiculously hungover the next day.
It's this (and other) circumstance that caused me to cancel on poor Ted for the Sounds Like Chicken concert on the 3rd. That, and the fact that though the doors opened at 6:30, the band had 5 opening acts, and the real band would have taken until 11:30 or so to be on stage. And I had to work at 9 the next morning. And I didn't want to be the prick who, halfway through the set, had to prevail upon Ted to give me a lift home. So no SLC. Oh well.