Day 17. 
Got this at the Tim Minchin show Tanja took me to last night. The show was amazing. I teared up a little during Rock N Roll Nerd (the bit about a guy writing songs that no one will ever hear), and full-on cried my eyes out during Not Perfect. Youtube it, it's phenomenal. I've already written about how one particular part of the song affects me. But last night, it destroyed me. I was just crushed. I've not cried like that in public, well, ever. I mostly blame Tanja and her propensity for crying at movies.
Got this at the Tim Minchin show Tanja took me to last night. The show was amazing. I teared up a little during Rock N Roll Nerd (the bit about a guy writing songs that no one will ever hear), and full-on cried my eyes out during Not Perfect. Youtube it, it's phenomenal. I've already written about how one particular part of the song affects me. But last night, it destroyed me. I was just crushed. I've not cried like that in public, well, ever. I mostly blame Tanja and her propensity for crying at movies. I had a long and in-depth post in my head about how I feel about my body-image, or whatever, and how I feel I play the clown too much because much of my self-worth is tied up in how people like me, but frankly, it's too depressing.
Today is my birthday. The people who work here got me a card and a present and my boss made me a cake. May also baked me two cakes. This is the first time a work-person, let alone many work people, did anything for my birthday. So I'm in a good mood.
1 comment:
My poor sweet sweetie.
I know you have 'issues' and I know no matter how often I tell you that I think you're gorgeous and sexy, it won't quite sink in and won't quite make a difference. Because this has nothing to do with what I or anyone else thinks, this is all about what you think, and about how you view yourself. And until you change that conversation with yourself, the rest is all going to feel like sucking up, or dribble.
Many people do care for you, but the truth is, even if not a single person did, YOU would still have worth. No one gets to take that away from you.
I'll punch them up if they try.
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